Disclaimer: Tongue planted firmly in cheek.
Comes now word that our newly-minted Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has included 15 men and 15 women in his cabinet – thus achieving complete gender parity. When asked why, he answered with a clipped phrase: “Because it’s 2015.”
Bravo! Trudeau clearly understands that all truth is chronological! The onward march of the years establishes what is right and wrong! Away with absolutes and objective truth! What may have been right in 1995 is no longer right in 2015. Why? I say again: “Because it’s 2015!”
You see, the movement of time provides the best argument in defence of any action. Never mind that, if we were to ask some bearded prime minister of one hundred years ago why his cabinet contained all men, and he answered, “Because it’s 1915,” we would not accept his answer. Why wouldn’t we accept that answer? All together now: “Because it’s 2015!” (By the way, that well-known trustworthy news source, The Onion, eloquently defended this answer here.)
At least one man, Prime Minister Trudeau, understands that it is 2015!
But I hear someone say, “Trudeau Shmudeau. What if the Ku Klux Klan were to become popular again, say in 2065, and the prime minister were to be asked why his cabinet contained only white males? Would you accept the answer ‘Because it’s 2065’?” Certainly not! You see, time is allowed to determine the validity only of certain pre-approved progressive ideals. If you don’t understand this, you clearly don’t watch the CBC or read the New York Times. What do you think this is, 2014 or something?
We must keep progressing at all costs! Progressing to where, you ask? Wait… Sniff, sniff… Do I smell smoke? And what’s that lurid orange glow in the distance? And that crackling noise?
Calm down. It’s probably nothing.